WE CANT STAND IT WHEN SOMEONE HAS TO LEAVE THE PARTY

I’m catching myself in a rare mood. One in which all negativity and pessimism has been drowned and burned and shipped out to the furthest edges of space in a capsule built by love and thankfulness. I’m catching myself in a mood where all rays of light glisten across the surface of the smallest things. And I’m telling you that the smallest things are the most important of them all. They’re the cosmic glue that holds every little fucking thing together.

We’re being put through a maze our entire lives and it’s not our fault. We’re pushed down long, dark hallways that try to lead us away from those little glowing moments. BUT THEN!  Sometimes a child is born or sometimes the moon hits you “just right” after way too much alcohol or even sometimes a precious woman dies in the street for no reason. And when that happens… the walls of that pitiful maze crumble around us as if we were GODS. Because for a second or two… we found the answer to the secret. Everything is limited and brief. Everything has a time line. Nothing can escape it. And unspeakable beauty lives inside each and everyone one of us. Even the sick and broken ones. Even the most hateful and horrific of us all.

And sonnets and words seem to fall short of this fact, but I think they actually capture it perfectly. Because even though we don’t believe it… everything is within our reach. Everything. Even those who are gone.. because the creatures that once stood in our presence and blessed us with their smiles and aura? They leave us drenched in the perfume of their greatness. We awake with it covering our clothes and our hair. Like a morning lover. And their perfume will go with us to our graves… until our perfume covers those that are still hanging around once we get pulled out of the party as well.

It’s a goddamn miracle. This WHOLE thing. Can you really believe this is all existing? I have to pretend I can believe it. It’s almost too good to be true. And no one has the real answers on where it came from or where we go afterwards. NO ONE KNOWS. Not one person. And I swear to God, I’m amazed and thankful that it’s going on right now and that I get to be a part of it. I’m a lucky creature. I’m lucky to be covered in the scent of so so so many people I love and that (for some reason) love me back. Because I’ve done enough to notdeserve it. And so have you. And so have those that are already gone.

We’ve been thrown into a big pot of boiling wonder and fascination together. We climb and swim over each other and laugh and celebrate in the mess of it all. AND WE CAN’T STAND IT WHEN SOMEONE HAS TO LEAVE THE PARTY. And we’ll be covered in their scent forever.

It’s beautiful. It’s incredible.