PART 41

If you could be the absolute BEST at something… what would it be? A painter? Physicist? Musician? Or maybe you’re just known for the best cup of coffee or slice of pizza? It’s a tough question. Because I mean the BEST. Spanning the entire recorded history of the Earth. What would you be?

I’d be a novelist. And not the kind that would write only one book and fall into seclusion. I would release a novel once a year and critics and the public would constantly be arguing over which title they deemed more revolutionary. Eventually, whole countries would split into different sects based on which book they voted on being the greatest of all time. And I would travel on horse back through the separate districts to see how the debate was going. In each, I would be welcomed with open arms. Parades would simply form around me. I would be showered from high windows with pages from other people’s books. Now that my publications were in existence… no other books were needed. My followers would make me stay the night in their grand cities. I would bath in pools filled with lilies and exotic oils that they prepared. I would sleep on gigantic pillows surrounded by wicker fans. I’d wake at dawn, kiss children’s foreheads, and ride on. On the day of my death… I would turn in my final book. All human kind would join together and agree that it was perfect. All sects and districts would fall away and disappear. The entire Earth would be renamed after my last master piece. History books would constantly praise my contribution to literature throughout the ages. Millions of sculptures would be erected in my honor. Once a year, old women would come dressed in black and cry at my marble feet. They would lay in my monstrous shadow. Miles and miles of dark, weeping figures would rest beneath my profile. They would all be clutching a handkerchief in one hand and my perfect book in the other. The novel’s title would be braised in gold and shimmering against the sun. It’s reflection would bounce against any surface that was near so all could proudly read it’s name: BRO DUDE