PART 13

Good morning, Sunshine. The Earth says hello. Sometimes you wake and say, “Beat yesterday. I bet you can’t.” I feel like my life is turning into that roller coster that gets better and better the longer you ride it. Wait… strike that. I fucking hate roller coaster comparisons… in any form really. What did they say before roller coasters existed? Maybe, “I tell you what… my emotions have been plateaus and gullys here lately.” My brother is in Iraq right now. Sandstorms and weepy wives. It only makes me more grateful that I’ll never be a soldier. Am I too old for the draft yet? I think I am. That’s when you become a man… when you are too old for the draft. If I did get drafted; I would tell them I was an amazing bear hunter or something. Or that I could read minds or cast spells. And 14 hours out of each day I would wrap an army jacket around my head and walk with a strange gate through the desert… whispering incantations with my fingers wiggling in the air. My commanding officer would sit under a tent with his feet propped up and a cigar in his mouth watching from afar thinking, “Bullshit.”